We’re getting towards the end of the year and everyone is writing about albums they’ve loved this year, and whilst I feel like I should do that (and I totally will write a top 10 or something generic at some point) I’m instead going to revisit an album by The Front Bottoms.
Life has been kind of weird. When you’re the kind of person who sees the bright side to most things and tries to keep positive and you find yourself losing that it’s hard. I didn’t handle it well. I stopped feeling creative, I got lazy, I would spend most of my time asleep because I just didn’t want to feel blank about life anymore. I entirely stopped listening to music, which is so out of character for me. There’s always something I want to get in my ears but in that mood everything was nothing to me. A couple of weeks ago I had the apartment to myself and all of a sudden all I wanted to listen to was The Front Bottoms. There was something comforting in a band that had no memories attached to them, that were entirely mine.
The first two albums I love wholeheartedly but I’d never given the most recent album a real go. I did like it but it wasn’t my go to when it came to the band. As I started to feel like myself again I’d walk out of the apartment to see friends and constantly have this album playing and it’s by the far the best album the Front Bottoms have ever made. It’s so different from the first album, but still holds true to their catchy melodies. The thing that grabs me always about any band is lyrics and this album was full of things that just made me go “YES THIS IS HOW I FEEL”. You want some examples? Here are some examples..
“Sometimes you gotta close your eyes to truly see the light”
“I’m always focusing in on the wrong things (Help), And then the wrong things become everything (help), I don’t know what I’m gonna do, I don’t know what I’m gonna do about anything”
“When my mind is uncertain my body decides”
“Like I said, I thought I was focused, I thought I had it figured out, How to organize my words good, Before they fall right out my mouth, But I have learned that the direction, I was walking was so wrong, And I just need a little help here, man, To find the path I should be on.”
You know when you’re walking around the music just makes sense? For the first time in two months I connected with music again and it was like a revelation. I’ve been going to less shows since August, missing things that I love because I just can’t bring myself to be in a crowd of people, it’s been freaking me out. I guess that’s why I felt so disconnected from music in general, I’d lost all the connections to it that I loved. This album fixed a lot of things, and whilst shows still make me anxious till I get there it’s got me leaving the house. Just walking around and catching up on everything I’ve missed.
I guess that’s one of the things I wasn’t expecting when I started to feel depressed, that music would stop being a comfort. No matter what situation I’ve been in, no matter what mood, there has always been a song to soundtrack how I’ve been feeling and having that provided me with a security blanket, with comfort. It made me feel less alone. Without that connection I felt lost. I feel like this album came into my life at exactly the right moment and when that happens things start to feel less bleak.
Music is fantastic and I am grateful every day for people who write songs that just make life easier and better. That help us all through bad times and provide the perfect soundtrack for the good times. Thanks to the Front Bottoms for pulling me out of the hole I had been stuck in.