It’s Valentine’s Day. The only reason I am even aware of this is because I work in a school and we always make things for Valentines Day. In America it was more of a thing because we had suspended regular work time to have a little party, hand out sweets into treat bags and exchange cards. I liked how Valentine’s Day was approached in the US schools, as a celebration of just everyone you love. Everyone got a card and a present and it was pretty fun, as opposed to making you feel singled out and lonely as it does to people as they get older. I’m not feeling that way this year, but I know in the past I have definitely felt that way, and it was scary thinking about being by myself.
I wrote a post when I moved into an apartment by myself for the first time about truly being alone with yourself. It was great because I could do whatever I wanted but at the same time there was no-one to help comfort you when you were sad or having a bad day. You were alone with yourself in the good and bad moments and you had to deal with that. Find ways to help calm yourself, find routines and things that could comfort you when you needed it. Living with myself pushed me to do more things by myself, travel, go to the cinema, go to museums, go out to eat, explore forests and National Parks. Now I don’t think twice about doing something by myself, which is something I love.
Society pities the single person, because we have this archaic idea that finding someone and getting married is one of the things you do in life, it would be an achievement if this was a video game, probably a mid-game one but it would def level you up. My dad asks me often when I’m going to get married and I always say when I meet someone who I want to marry. I’m at an age now where I am not going to settle for someone, if I’m going to be in a relationship with someone it’s going to be because it’s right. I think perhaps that’s hard for him to understand considering his marriage was arranged. It’s seen as strange in my household that I don’t think about marriage, I’m more focused on my next move or next adventure.
Being single is not a hindrance at all. I have always just tried to focus on living the best way I can by myself, doing things to make me happy, working towards my goals and putting out the best I can in the world. I have the freedom to do more because I don’t have to check in with anyone, and as I explained to my dad the more I’m left to just do what I need to do and travel the more likely I’ll meet someone I might actually want to spend more time with. I’m not going to meet anyone in Ilford that’s for sure, though I appreciate that in Ilford I can get a samosa at all hours of the day. I hate no desire to start an OKC or a Tinder, or I guess reactivate the ones I do have, because I hate all of that. I find meeting people on apps just a really weird thing to do, and no matter how many times I tried it it always took about a week before I noped the hell out of it all and closed everything again. I do know they are helpful, but I’ve just had some super bad experiences with people on there and I don’t trust them anymore.
It’s Valentine’s Day yes but remember that you don’t need to be in a relationship to feel valid or be happy. No matter how much society wants to paint being single as lonely and sad, you can make being single whatever you want it to be. You don’t have to be on dating apps and actively dating if you don’t want to. There are so many other kinds of relationships in your life that will help you feel connected and help you grow. The most important of those being your relationship with yourself. When you feel good about yourself it makes all other things 100 times easier to deal with. Take this day to celebrate yourself, and celebrate your friends and family around you who you love. Love is not just for people in relationships, it’s for everyone in your life who makes it better. In my case today will be spent packing orders for my shop, listening to K-Pop, watching anime and painting a little later on. I would order take out but I’m doing a 48 hour water fast, but tomorrow I will celebrate the end of that with chips because LOVE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYDAY.
Anyway, that’s all for this week. I will get better at this I promise, or not, I don’t know. It’s fun and that all that matters.